Category Archives: Exodus

Exodus Chapters 6-10

Chapter 6

After Moses had brought his people’s latest complaint to God, God tells him that the pharaoh will not only let the Israelites go, but that he will force them to leave. (6:1)

God then tells Moses that he is God; that his name is Jehovah; that he made promises to his followers and that now he intends to keep them. (6:2-5)

Then God rehashes the story to this point about how he is God and will free his people with the help of Moses and Aaron, and how the pharaoh is being a douche. (6:6-13)

Abraham to Moses (1)Now that God has brought us up to date on his story a couple of times, we get a rundown on the family line of Moses from Jacob’s son Levi.  In this family tree we learn that Moses’ and Aaron’s Dad married his aunt, so Moses’ mom is also his great-aunt (6:14-26) I have included a diagram at right to illustrate the family line from Abraham to Moses.

Then the author rehashes the Exodus story to this point for the second time in one chapter. (6:27-30)

Chapter 7

This chapter begins by rehashing the Exodus story, in case we forgot after being told several times before including the two times in the last chapter. (7:1-7)  When the author finally starts on new material, God tells Moses that when the pharaoh asks for a miracle he is to tell Aaron to throw down Moses’ magic wand and it will turn into a snake. (7:8-9)  Why God decided to have Aaron do a magic trick when he had stated earlier that Moses would be doing all of them is never explained.

385px-Figures_The_Rods_of_Moses_and_the_Magicians_Turned_into_SerpentsSo Aaron does as instructed and sure enough, his wand turns into a snake.  The pharaoh has his court magicians turn their wands into snakes, but Aaron’s wand eats their wands. (7:10-12)

So God makes the pharaoh unwilling to cooperate, and then tells Moses that the pharaoh is unwilling to cooperate (7:13-14)

God tells Moses to meet the pharaoh down by the river the next day with Aaron’s magic wand.  When the pharaoh arrives Moses is supposed to tell the pharaoh that God has sent him to free his people and to prove it he is going to smack the river which will then turn into a river of blood which will stink and kill all of the fish. Then he is to give Aaron his wand back and have him do what Moses had just said that he was going to do. Which will cause all of the water in Egypt to turn into blood. This last part of the plan involving lying about who was going to smack the river is presumably meant to confuse the pharaoh. (7:15-19) Why God changed who was to talk and who was to do the magic tricks is not explained.

So, Moses and Aaron do things according to the revised plan.  The pharaoh’s magicians tried to reverse the spell, but were unable to do so, and as a result, the Egyptians and all their animals went without water in the desert for seven days. How they survived is not explained. The pharaoh still refuses to cooperate. (7:20-25)

800px-Plague_of_FrogsChapter 8

After the water returns to normal.  Moses asks the pharaoh to cooperate saying that if the pharaoh doesn’t he will cause a frog plague.  The pharaoh refuses again, so Moses has Aaron use his magic wand to cause frogs to come out of the river and swarm all over the place instead of doing it himself as he told the pharaoh he would.  The magicians join in on the fun and there are frogs everywhere. (8:1-7)

The pharaoh calls Moses in and says that if he will get rid of the frogs, his people will be free to go.  So, Moses tells God about the deal, and the next day God kills all of the frogs, which are then gathered up into big stinky piles of rotting amphibians.  Once the frogs are dead, the pharaoh decides to take back his offer, so God has Moses have Aaron turn all the dust in Egypt into lice which afflict the Egyptians.  The pharaoh’s magicians try to rid Egypt of the lice but can’t so they try to convince the pharaoh to cooperate, but he won’t. (8:8-19)

Tissot_The_Plague_of_FliesThe next day God has Moses tell the pharaoh that if he doesn’t cooperate that the following day God will send a plague of flies to bother everyone except for his own people. Which God then does without any help from Aaron’s magic wand. (8:20-24)

The pharaoh tells Moses that his people will be free to go do their sacrifices if they don’t go too far.  So, Moses has God get rid of the flies.  Once again, the pharaoh goes back on his word. No mention is made of the lice problem. (8:25-32)

Chapter 9

Since the pharaoh is still uncooperative, God has Moses tell him that if he doesn’t cooperate that all of his domestic animals will get a disease, but the Israelites’ animals won’t.  Then God plagues all of the Egyptian animals, which kills all of their cattle, but leaves the Israelite cattle alone. (9:1-6)

The pharaoh still refuses to cooperate, so God has Moses sprinkle ashes into the air which turns into magic dust that causes boils on everybody and all of the remaining animals.  The pharaoh’s magicians can’t do anything about the magic dust, and God makes the pharaoh refuse to cooperate. (9:7-12)

The next day Moses tells the pharaoh that God has done all of these horrible things as a way to show off so that everybody will know how special he is.  Moses then tells the pharaoh that if he doesn’t cooperate that God will send the worst hail storm that they have ever seen, and that the Egyptians should take all of their cattle which were dead from the previous plague, and other animals indoors before the storm, because anything left outside, man or animal, will die in the storm. (9:13-19)  Why God wanted the Egyptians to drag their dead cattle indoors is not explained.

The Egyptians who are scared of God drag their dead cattle, and their servants indoors.  The Egyptians who aren’t scared, leave their dead cattle and servants outside. (9:20-21)

Martin,_John_-_The_Seventh_Plague_-_1823Moses points his magic wand at the sky, and God causes hail and fire to rain down everywhere in Egypt except for Goshen. This hail/fire storm destroys crops, trees, and anyone/anything outside, including the already dead cattle. (9:22-26)

The pharaoh calls Moses and Aaron in, and he admits that he and his people have been naughty, but that this time, if God will stop the storm, he will let the Israelites go. Moses doesn’t believe the pharaoh but has God stop the storm anyway as a way for God to show off some more.  Sure enough, the pharaoh retracts his offer. (9:27-35)

Chapter 10

God admits to Moses that the pharaoh is refusing to cooperate, because he is making him do so as a way to show off so that his followers will be scared of him, then Moses and the pharaoh start their negotiations again. (10:1-3)

800px-Holman_The_Plague_of_LocustsMoses brings Locusts with his magic wand, then God sends them away and makes the pharaoh refuse to cooperate (10:4-20)  Then God has Moses makes the light go away for three days everywhere except for Israelite houses, then God makes the pharaoh refuse to cooperate again, and tell Moses to go away and not come back.  Moses says he won’t come back anymore. (10:21-29)

Next time: we get to see how God kills children, and babies then the Israelites head into the desert.

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Exodus Chapters 1-5

Welcome to the book of Exodus.  All of the incest, lying, and deceit in Genesis have led up to this book wherein we see God’s penchant for killing children, find out that God’s people prefer being master over being slave, get a little more incest, and get a whole bunch of new rules.

So let’s get started.

Chapter 1

The book of Exodus begins by telling us that 70 of Jacob’s family came into Egypt with him, that Joseph has died and that the family has bred like bunnies. (1:1-7) Where Jacob’s extra family member came from is not explained.

A new pharaoh takes over and decides that the Hebrew population is getting too large to ignore, and worries that they could be a problem if they sided with an enemy, so he enslaves them and has them build the cities of “Pithom and Raamses.” (1:8-11)  No explanation is given for how they built the cities hundreds of years before they were built.

When the pharaoh makes it hard on the Hebrews their population increases, so he mandates that all midwives kill newborn male Israelites, but the midwives go against his wishes, and let male babies live. God rewards the midwives for their insubordination with houses, and the Hebrew population continues to grow.  Since his mandate to kill male babies didn’t work, the pharaoh mandates that all newborn male Hebrew babies are to be thrown in the river. (1:12-22)

Chapter 2

MosesRescued_FromTheNileA man and woman of the house of Levi, the seller-of-his-brother, and son of Jacob’s first wife, have a son during this time, and the boy’s mother hides the child for three months, before putting him in a little boat made of reeds and putting the little boat in the river.  The pharaoh’s daughter finds the little boat and saves the boy from certain death. (2:1-5)

The princess knows it is a Hebrew child but she feels sorry for him, and hires a slave to wet-nurse and take care of him, who as it happens is Moses’ mother.  When the boy gets a little older he is brought back to the princess, who names him Moses. (2:6-10)

490px-Moses_erschlägt_den_Ägypter_F_19_JhAs Moses grows older he leaves the palace and starts hanging around with his own people. One day he comes upon an Egyptian beating on a Hebrew so he kills the Egyptian and buries him. The next day a couple of Hebrews give him a hard time about killing the Egyptian which makes Moses worry about how many people know about the murder he has committed. (2:11-14)

The pharaoh finds out about the murder and puts out a death warrant on Moses, so Moses runs away to Midian where he ends up helping the daughters of a local priest overcome some bullies. The priest in turn gives Moses a place to stay and one of his daughters,  Zipporah, as a wife.  Moses has a son with his new wife, whom he names Gershom. (2:15-22)

Eventually the pharaoh dies, and God finally notices the problems his followers are having and remembers his promises to them. (2:23-25)

Chapter 3

395px-Domenico_Fetti_-_Moses_before_the_Burning_Bush_-_WGA07855One day while Moses is tending to his father in law’s flocks he spots a bush on fire and goes to check it out. (3:1-3) When God sees Moses headed toward the bush he talks to him through it, telling him to take off his shoes. The bush then tells Moses that it is God, and Moses turns away out of fear of looking at God. (3:4-6)

The bush then says that it knows all about the slavery and such of his followers, so it has decided to come down and deliver his people back to Canaan, a land described as “flowing with milk and honey.” (3:7-8)

BushGod then repeats himself, and tells Moses that he has been appointed to do the actual work. (3:9-10)

Moses questions God’s choice of him as a messenger, and God tells him not to worry about it. God tells Moses to simply tell the elders that God has sent him and what the plan is and that doing those things should be sufficient proof. (3:11-18)

In regard to the pharaoh, God tells Moses that he is positive that the pharaoh won’t initially cooperate, but that after God bullies him a bit he will give in, and not only will the Israelites be let go, but they will take a bunch of their Egyptian neighbors’ money and valuables with them. (3:19-22)

Chapter 4

Moses is still not convinced that anyone is going to believe the whole “God sent me” thing, so God gives him a magic wand, the ability to make his hand look like it is rotting away, and the ability to turn water into blood. (4:1-9)

Moses continues to try to get out of being God’s spokesman by pointing out that he is no Charlton Heston, and doesn’t do so well with public speaking. God tells him not to worry about it, but Moses keeps whining, so God, who at this point is starting to get angry about Moses’ whining, tells him that he will have Aaron, the previously unknown brother of Moses, do the talking and that Moses will just have to do the magic show.  This arrangement seems to satisfy Moses. (4:10-17)  No explanation is ever given as to why God doesn’t just free the Israelites himself.

Moses goes back home and tells his father-in-law that he needs to go back to Egypt. God tells Moses that it should be safe to do so because all of the people there who wanted him dead are themselves dead. Moses gathers up his wife and sons and, magic wand in hand, heads out for Egypt. (4:18-20)

God then tells Moses that he will make the pharaoh refuse to cooperate, and that he should threaten to kill the pharaoh’s kids. (4:21-23)

On the way to Egypt, Moses and his family stop at an inn for the night and for some unexplained reason, God tries to kill his newly appointed messenger.  Moses’ wife runs God off by cutting their son’s foreskin off and throwing it on the ground then saying something similar to the old AC/DC lyric: “if you want blood, you got it.” (4:24-26)

Unphased by his defeat at the hands of a woman, God arranges for Aaron and Moses to meet in the wilderness, and the two of them put on their show for the elders, who believe what Aaron and Moses have to say. (4:27-31)

Chapter 5

Artist's Rendition of the Pharaoh

Artist’s Rendition of the Pharaoh

After their success with the elders, Moses and Aaron go to the pharaoh and tell him to let their people go or else.  The pharaoh dismisses them and their god as insignificant, and tells them to get back to work. (5:1-4) No explanation is given as to why the pharaoh even bothered giving an audience to two slaves in the first place.

389px-Figures_The_Israelites'_Cruel_Bondage_in_EgyptAfter the meeting, the pharaoh decides to make things even harder for the Israelites by reducing the availability of materials needed to do their job, yet keeping their quota the same.  When asked about this new policy, the pharaoh explains that it is designed to keep them busy so they won’t have time to organize; an ancient union busting tactic if you will. (5:5-19)

The workers then complain to Aaron and Moses about how the demands on the pharaoh made by the two brothers have made things harder for the people they say they’re trying to help.  (5:20-21)  Moses takes the grievance to God, (5:22-23) and the chapter ends.

Now that we have the basic plot lines and a good introduction to the major players in the upcoming story, we are left with some questions: Will God help the workers fight management?  Will there be any more good ole’ Abrahamic incest?  Will God try to kill Moses again?  For answers to these questions and more, be sure to tune in next time.